today is D-DAY.

Sitting @ my desk today and reluctant to intiate a task. Finally,I have to breath and begin .Because so far computers haven't taken over the need for love & compassion. At least for me it means job security, in the current economy,and that is a great thing. However, sometimes to find a balance between love and nursing or compassion and adminsitration, can be or should be just put under the label of D-Day. I feel like it is invasion from foreign enemies, sometimes co-workers and sometimes the coustomer. Which one is the beast? I guess it depends on my own attitude in the reproach.

I relized today my fault, as it was pointed out, during an employee counseling session. A bad memory. Yikes!!!!! Yes I forget. But surprisingly I never forget some things. Why is that?
It leaves me to dig deep for answers. Yet, why do I really care what others percieve as a default,or defect in me. Crap! I don't know I just do. It matters and it should not. It's like rocking in a chair,back/forth. My mind will not settle until I have searced the uptmost region of my obvious deminishing memory to find, it does matter. Because memory is important.

So, although I strongly feel justified in my own expectations without any exceptions. I am most reluctant to hear what others percieve. I mean a bad memory! Yet, if I walk away from that with nothing then I have lost the intent of translation from the speaker. So a restlesss mind want stop until it recalls,what it forgets. That is how our love and desire to follow Christ should reflect don't stop until you get it better than before and closer than you were. Thinking clearer without so much clutter, fried brain overload,leaving so much room for improvement in all areas of our lives. Well although I have a goal in sight, it must also reflect my own area to seek for improvement when others percieve it as a stumbling to their own demise. I will fix my memory and then it will leave them to look at their own faults closer. So they can't elude problems forever. I commit to the 2 step program. Myself and Chrsit. Now GOD I pray I want take more than I can effectively and completly finish and if I say it is upon the errors of other when it is mine that you reveal it in my memory. Because, teachings on humility should be evident when you seek it. In conclusion ramdom thought read James 4:6,7,11,12.Crazy, to know it is true and sometimes painful.

Thinking outloud!!
Sandy

ARE YOU THE WHEAT OR THE WEED?

TODAY, WAS A DAY FROM THE PITS OF HELL. OK! SO, MAYBE I AM OVERSTATING THAT. I JUST REALIZED AFTER 10 HOURS OF WORK WHAT I MISSED TODAY IN LIVING IT OUT AND LIVING UP FOR CHRIST. I AM QUESTIONING IF I AM THE WHEAT OR THE WEED IN THE MIX OF MY JOB. I am just being frank! I have like others a weed day and wander am I reflecting the wheat enough. Now, that is a great parable. I like it so much, it,reminds me of when I was a child and we spoke our own language/lingo referred to as pig-lantin, my grandmother never understood the words. But, always knew what we were referring to. Christ always knows our sincere heart and it will eventually show. So word of advise keep the vision and don't let others make you become the weed in this daily struggle of life. (read Matthew 13:24-29)it's just that easy to loose a feild of wheat. If we don't remain vigilent in our own actions that includes how you handle the weeds of life. A good person doesn't always reflect the wheat,just the opposite at times. I recall in my younger years I would help my favorite uncle pull weeds from his feild to keep the soybeans thriving,(I just thought he done it because he wanted them to look nice in the rows or his OCD coming out). But, it all puts a clear picture of why we remove the weeds. At times you simply can't let them continue to grow or you could loose the whole harvest. So,pray for me as I plow feilds and let the wheat grow,but,yet reflect it should always be about christ and not of my own frustration. that is my goal for living up!

TODAY, WAS TO BE FRANK! A DAY TO CONSIDER RETIREMENT. HAVING AN ISSUE WITH AN EMPLOYEE,BECAME MORE CHALLENGING THAN I CARE TO REFLECT TO LONG ON . FOR THE FEAR OF GRACE LEEPING OFF THIS PAGE AND LEAVING THE BRAIN CELL I HAVE AT MY AGE WANDERING WHAT IN THE WORLD DOES THAT WORD TRULY MEAN. GRACE,GRACE ,GRACE.AS, I DIG DEEP INTO MY LIFE, I LOOK, AND REALIZE I HAVE OFTEN CONFUSED THE MEANING GOD INTENDS FOR ME TO GET FROM THIS. SO, I SAY TEACH ME OH MIGHTY TEACHER. WITHOUT DELAY HE DOES I GET WHAT HE WANT'S ME TO GET. BUT, OFTEN TAKE ONLY WHAT I CHOOSE TO TAKE HENCE, I MISS THE POINT. IN QUESTIONING MYSELF ON AN ISSUE OF MY OWN EXPECTATIONS VERSES IS IT REASONABLE AND CAN I /SHOULD I SHOW GRACE /ERASE GRACE /OR JUST REALIZE NOT EVERY ONE HAS A BRAIN LIKE MINE AND LEAVE IT AT THAT. IN REFLECTING UPON SEVERAL BOOKS IN THE BIBLE.TODAY,I LOOKED AT TWO THAT SHOW ME HOW I COULD LIVE IT OUT