today is D-DAY.

Sitting @ my desk today and reluctant to intiate a task. Finally,I have to breath and begin .Because so far computers haven't taken over the need for love & compassion. At least for me it means job security, in the current economy,and that is a great thing. However, sometimes to find a balance between love and nursing or compassion and adminsitration, can be or should be just put under the label of D-Day. I feel like it is invasion from foreign enemies, sometimes co-workers and sometimes the coustomer. Which one is the beast? I guess it depends on my own attitude in the reproach.

I relized today my fault, as it was pointed out, during an employee counseling session. A bad memory. Yikes!!!!! Yes I forget. But surprisingly I never forget some things. Why is that?
It leaves me to dig deep for answers. Yet, why do I really care what others percieve as a default,or defect in me. Crap! I don't know I just do. It matters and it should not. It's like rocking in a chair,back/forth. My mind will not settle until I have searced the uptmost region of my obvious deminishing memory to find, it does matter. Because memory is important.

So, although I strongly feel justified in my own expectations without any exceptions. I am most reluctant to hear what others percieve. I mean a bad memory! Yet, if I walk away from that with nothing then I have lost the intent of translation from the speaker. So a restlesss mind want stop until it recalls,what it forgets. That is how our love and desire to follow Christ should reflect don't stop until you get it better than before and closer than you were. Thinking clearer without so much clutter, fried brain overload,leaving so much room for improvement in all areas of our lives. Well although I have a goal in sight, it must also reflect my own area to seek for improvement when others percieve it as a stumbling to their own demise. I will fix my memory and then it will leave them to look at their own faults closer. So they can't elude problems forever. I commit to the 2 step program. Myself and Chrsit. Now GOD I pray I want take more than I can effectively and completly finish and if I say it is upon the errors of other when it is mine that you reveal it in my memory. Because, teachings on humility should be evident when you seek it. In conclusion ramdom thought read James 4:6,7,11,12.Crazy, to know it is true and sometimes painful.

Thinking outloud!!
Sandy