Almost one year ago I wrote about when your love must change and now it is about why your love does not change.
I am still trying to follow all the commands God places in my personal life and find this a burden with all honesty. But that is what is making me realize why your love does not change.
You must submit that if it is a burden or causes you to loose sleep,not smile as often ,or laugh as ofen; then it is a reason for " why your love does not change". I smile when smiled at ,laugh when other do. but the person I was used to be the one whom smiled first,laughed the most and truly just felt upbeat. When I began to realize that "my love must change and having been heavy hearted to fullfill this direction.It was obvious I was holding me back and signs begin to flash like the yellow caution to alert me use caution.
I often question things and have even quoted myself as having the Southern Baptist God given passage to "ask Why".
Like Moses I have become hardened in my heart, with this journey and even find myself seeking a burning bush for his direction in this saving of this season for me.
I am finding that God does not speak as clearly as he did and a scientist I am not but he gives me his wisdom and I do not apply it to this journey, to this season, to the steps I make daily. I do not hear as clearly, but I do see his path and it gives me this desire to close my eyes until morning. All the senses he gave us from dust is what is needed to make the journey about him. Some things I have seen makes me wish I did not hear either. But, I was meant to have every sense he gave me to build my character. It is these things that are needed for me to understand "why my love does not change"!
I came to the conclusion that my heart is hardened because I do not hug as often as I like to,I do not hold hands as often as I like to, I make some choices based upon what I see,not what he sees, I often make some choices based upon what I hear, not what he hears. My feelings are more important than understanding the feelings of others. I can carry my trash around and never discard some issues, But the sense to judge someone is so easy when you do not like what they are doing. I do not walk as often as I like. I am often sad and deny it to myself. I find some things hard to forgive and can't stop this internal arrgument with myself that God, has not told me it is ok. (it would not be an argument if were ok with God).
When i sat down to blog something was clear it was me and my failure to uses the senses he gave me to bring him glory was the message" that is why your love does not change. What goes in your mind is stored and feed by your heart.
So touch something that brings God glory, listen to something that makes you happy,kiss your child or spouse more often, look at things that bring GOD GLORY,walk in the path of righteous ness,hear what is good for your soul,mind and speak the same. When I master all these I believe my love will change, and I believe a hardened heart is not what Jesus desires. I will love with all my senses and live with all them as it is God desire for me.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Friday, July 16, 2010
Movies and the old black and white, still lives
I want to see an old movie, but I first have to buy a black and white TV. In the search of this quest,it has taken me down the merchandise isle and thrift stores and questioning what is the value of this stuff to others?
How many of you have ever seen Charlie Chaplin? I so want to kick like him with his wooden cane. His famous walk and the tip of his hat in those old black and white movies. I had a tee shirt with his picture it was cool to me others perceved it as old and outdated and perhaps odd. I did not really care about Calvin Klein, or name brand . I connected with old people, old things and to this day the old is what makes me feel young.
I recall the old black and white TV and even when we got our first one. I liked The Rascles, Andy Griffith Show,Shirley Temple, and the slap stick commedy of the 3 Larry ,Moe ,Curly moments. It was pure, clean and I laughed alot .
Something takes away from the original when we try to redo, what was working in the first round. That doesn't in any way reflect the need to connect with the new, the color is great, I love the recent 1980 (LOL) version of Sandlot. So progress is great!!
I often over think some things and under estimate God's desire for me to laugh. His desire is huge he wants joy and happiness,both of these come from LAUGHTER.
I don't need to here words from a huge screen to laugh,I just simply need to get back to what made me laugh in my youth, the old things brought me thus far and some things he doesn't necessarily deem it to be discarded nor does it need to be refrubished.
What he desires is that we take care of what he does give us. So perhaps if you still have a black and White TV, dust it off and plug it in.
Watch an old movie, laugh, and still live. but recall the junk of others should be regarded as a purpose for his desire. I will continue to be rustic in my taste for life, I only wish I could go back and walk this earth with Christ and laugh with him. I imagine him as slap stick commedy, Charlie Chaplin kinda guy in some ways, or even the 3 stuges when he spoke in parables, to his apostles.
he was a funny dude!!!
Now laugh at this moment and laugh often.
How many of you have ever seen Charlie Chaplin? I so want to kick like him with his wooden cane. His famous walk and the tip of his hat in those old black and white movies. I had a tee shirt with his picture it was cool to me others perceved it as old and outdated and perhaps odd. I did not really care about Calvin Klein, or name brand . I connected with old people, old things and to this day the old is what makes me feel young.
I recall the old black and white TV and even when we got our first one. I liked The Rascles, Andy Griffith Show,Shirley Temple, and the slap stick commedy of the 3 Larry ,Moe ,Curly moments. It was pure, clean and I laughed alot .
Something takes away from the original when we try to redo, what was working in the first round. That doesn't in any way reflect the need to connect with the new, the color is great, I love the recent 1980 (LOL) version of Sandlot. So progress is great!!
I often over think some things and under estimate God's desire for me to laugh. His desire is huge he wants joy and happiness,both of these come from LAUGHTER.
I don't need to here words from a huge screen to laugh,I just simply need to get back to what made me laugh in my youth, the old things brought me thus far and some things he doesn't necessarily deem it to be discarded nor does it need to be refrubished.
What he desires is that we take care of what he does give us. So perhaps if you still have a black and White TV, dust it off and plug it in.
Watch an old movie, laugh, and still live. but recall the junk of others should be regarded as a purpose for his desire. I will continue to be rustic in my taste for life, I only wish I could go back and walk this earth with Christ and laugh with him. I imagine him as slap stick commedy, Charlie Chaplin kinda guy in some ways, or even the 3 stuges when he spoke in parables, to his apostles.
he was a funny dude!!!
Now laugh at this moment and laugh often.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
things I don't like and a reason to start loving them
I was driving home today with a car ,but no air. So, I rolled the windows down punched it to 65 MPH and the hand goes out my window " free to chase the wind", and pull it into my steam sauna for the route home.
My daughter has been blessed with a new car and air. She does not understand this concept of chasing the wind,and even retorically remarked it is crazy to have your arm out the window. Why do peolple do that ?Why mom Why??
Well my fortunate daughter most do it to get air, some do to it to feel the freedom that comes with your hand out of your window; up and down it goes like a roller coaster.
It's like a piece of nature that brings alot of fond memories back to me.
Going to the creek on the back of an old pick up truck, all 5 of us would pile into the back, and then simutaneously jump off to chase the hot red road to the cold water. Many summers were filled with whom could get in first and splash the other siblings. I really miss those innocense days we shared as small and young children.
You could not wait until the rain would fall and fill up the ditch, so we could play in the rain water. Why we did not get deathly sick is beyond me.
Our life was so simple and yet so complex!! many things I did not like and I even keep a mental list of them in my mind.
Sharing a bed on those hot summer day's was horrible, being the middle child,between 2 older/taller sisters had great advantages, but in the summer it had none.
I could never reach to get the plums as they ripened, before them, never could get to the creek first, always got the middle in our bed we shared.
My brother was almost 2 years my junior, we always spent time together.
My youngest sister was 6 years my junior and she was like an only child in some ways.
the memories best to recall, was the first of spring always filled us with family we would gather at the creek and hunt eggs. That was to the best of my recollecction always a fun day
Alot of my child hood memories were fond alot were not, but they were the building foundation Christ laid my path into.
So I stepped slowly and swayed alot. I may not have liked the hot summers or the plums I could not reach, even being in the middle of my bed during those hot summer days.
What I loved was it gave me glimpses of frames that fill my memories to this day and alot of laughter has been shared amongst my siblings over the years, at our percieved unfortunate childhood. I love all the memories because it is of God.
I am short because God choose it for me and my sisters are tall because god choose it for them.
My daughter hates to ride with her hand out a window,I love to
Things you may not like ,eventually you come to love through the repect of anothers view. Gods view !Gods purpose!
So chase the wind grab it and bring it into your life and the things you do not like will eventually bring a lesson into your life with a reason to love them.
My daughter has been blessed with a new car and air. She does not understand this concept of chasing the wind,and even retorically remarked it is crazy to have your arm out the window. Why do peolple do that ?Why mom Why??
Well my fortunate daughter most do it to get air, some do to it to feel the freedom that comes with your hand out of your window; up and down it goes like a roller coaster.
It's like a piece of nature that brings alot of fond memories back to me.
Going to the creek on the back of an old pick up truck, all 5 of us would pile into the back, and then simutaneously jump off to chase the hot red road to the cold water. Many summers were filled with whom could get in first and splash the other siblings. I really miss those innocense days we shared as small and young children.
You could not wait until the rain would fall and fill up the ditch, so we could play in the rain water. Why we did not get deathly sick is beyond me.
Our life was so simple and yet so complex!! many things I did not like and I even keep a mental list of them in my mind.
Sharing a bed on those hot summer day's was horrible, being the middle child,between 2 older/taller sisters had great advantages, but in the summer it had none.
I could never reach to get the plums as they ripened, before them, never could get to the creek first, always got the middle in our bed we shared.
My brother was almost 2 years my junior, we always spent time together.
My youngest sister was 6 years my junior and she was like an only child in some ways.
the memories best to recall, was the first of spring always filled us with family we would gather at the creek and hunt eggs. That was to the best of my recollecction always a fun day
Alot of my child hood memories were fond alot were not, but they were the building foundation Christ laid my path into.
So I stepped slowly and swayed alot. I may not have liked the hot summers or the plums I could not reach, even being in the middle of my bed during those hot summer days.
What I loved was it gave me glimpses of frames that fill my memories to this day and alot of laughter has been shared amongst my siblings over the years, at our percieved unfortunate childhood. I love all the memories because it is of God.
I am short because God choose it for me and my sisters are tall because god choose it for them.
My daughter hates to ride with her hand out a window,I love to
Things you may not like ,eventually you come to love through the repect of anothers view. Gods view !Gods purpose!
So chase the wind grab it and bring it into your life and the things you do not like will eventually bring a lesson into your life with a reason to love them.
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