STOP AND DON'T LET IT LEAVE OR GROW

In relection with some friends from the church today, brought back some really great topics and yet left me with some really personal struggles. About babies/children and cats. True enough I am not all about listening to the cry of a newborn. Yet, I know I should be. Its kinda like my personal quest of Is it ok with GOD that I strongly dislike cats (sure it is bizzarre but yet I just question his opinion on what I think because it should reflect his love)



Today I hosted a baby shower (which I love to do) and the gifts for a new born baby is so awesome. It left me wishing 'STOP AND DON'T LET IT GROW OR LEAVE".



How cool would it be if we could stop the following from growing or leaving



A puppy!

A baby

A teenager whom brings so much joy in your home

Your spouse

A kitten

A newely married couple

A tropical storm

That tree you like to climb

Your elderly grandparents

Your favorite uncle

Your first date with your spouse

on,and on!



In compling the list above It is real personal for me and I begin the deep search to find why I am struggling with wanting to freeze time. We all want only the good and mourn in our own ways the bad. Simply to state we are human and made that way is a cop out. I am looking for the time capsule that will make me relish the bad just as I prance in the good. It is selfish to want this kind of control, and not Christ like. Hard to accept and sometimes I wish I could move forward without thinking about this list and just completly become submissive to the circle of life.

Yet, I love a little puppy and don't have the same passion for an adult dog. Don't get me wrong I am not cruel in any way it is just not something I care to take care of. Why I don't know because a puppy is exhausting. Is it becuase I need to feel drained to be in the presense of God. That is crazy!! But yet think about Jesus when he was seeking God the fourty days of wilderness was draining. I honestly love to look at a kitten but am terrified of kittens and cats. A very unusual fear and yet very true. My heart will race and I avoid getting out of a car when I know one is around. Just really crazy yet I just honestly do not like cats at all. So, I am settled to let God have this one and keep my crazy fear in control. God does love his people whom love animals and I believe their is a special place for cat lovers and a very special place for uncle's whom throw cats at thier neice and scar them emotionally for life.So take me serious when I say don't invite me over if you have cat.

I love a good tropical strom. But, I am almost migrainly tense of a hurricane. So, when one starts to develope I want to simply put build " Sandys' Ark". That is almost funny. I can see all the vibrate colors, it would be one cool ark but a sign would say "cats find your own ride" ,(that is mean I don't think cats can swim). On a more serious note when hurrican Opal came thru in 1995 we lost essentially everything that made our income" a commercial business gone with the wind". It took one huff and one puff for all to be blown away. Not a good time in lfe, not a good time in parenting, not a good time in marriage,to be followed by not a good time in being a 30 year age man to a very controlling mother, not a good time in almost every thing.

But, yet all good comes to his favor.You must realize the good may be a loss for one and a gain for another. That is the way God intends for our life to be what affects one ,will affect another in some fashion of life. To realize your devestation is a gain for someone other than you is so Christ like and yet so difficult to accomplish. Try to swallow that line, I certainly don't measure historically speaking. Now GOD command's me to realize even a flat tire is good for another. Wal Mart tires are reasonable and someone needs the job of selling them. See one does affect another.

I truly desire every child to know the un-ending love of a grandmother. Mine has been gone for 25 years. I never thought she would leave me. But, yet she left me with so much. It is not even poetic to say "she was Love", because now I know her Love was from GOD and that in itself leaves me without futher questions about the broad love of grace. A grandmother grinded in the mix of GOD is truly to the uttermost. She was a prime example of "I love you no matter what".

I think of my daughter and nothing can make me laugh like she can. Just to funny and her blond moments are something to soak up. She is humorous and a child of God. When Chrsit took her heart he intended to align her with peolple whom needed to be aligned with him. That would include me. It has been a crazy life having her to share so many funny and yet tender mom moments. I really do want her to stop and don't let it leave or grow.It is painful because God has shared her enough with me. I am working on this new role to share her with others. Her first boyfriend/dating/ independence/friends. I was taught to share with five siblings yet I struggle withy this inclination to just keep her as she is. A smile , a loud sneezer and a kind heart. Thank you God for helping me see the beauty of parenting in God evolve thru her. She may not be perfect and she may disappoint me one day. But, her kind of love is only from your loving son Christ.

I am struggling in the wife role. I have a great husband far from perfect and he has done things that certainly do not reflect God. But I wish so much to become the wife God desires. More focused on his need more focused on the fact that he is willing to endure everything and yet he still remains by my side. I am sure unknowingly I have driven him to the road of London sometimes "driving on the other side". But yet he alway's let's me know I am his London he want's. God help me protect and keep the love we have from "Stop and don't let it leave". Again Christ will speak I just have to listen . Recall ones devestation is another's gain that can be or you can listen to the intent it means in marriage and realize "a floaded bridge will eventually recind and you can see the road or the river banks".So in your own devestation will become your own gain as well.

I think every person should have the one uncle that takes the time to invest in your youth. I have an uncle who put some really interesting times in my youth. I think so often of how glue holds things together and sometimes it separates after years. He is the glue and he is aging. I want to stop time when I am around him. He always makes me feel love. I know he was some form of protection in my life and nothing is better than to experience the comfort of Christ thru others. My uncle is that person.

Lastly, I drove by a home the other day and looked at a tree that my son used to climb. I miss the tree ,as it has so much height just as GOD intended Yet, I miss my son whom has failed to get his growth in the role of growing in Christ. God gave us notice when he put his own son on the cross and I must become submissive in placing MY LOVE, MY FEARS ,MY ANGER AND MY DESPAIR ABOUT THE SON I so deeply desire to see climb a tree and bring others joy. Certainly not easy and I just can't settle with God over him. Trusting in him to sift me until I am fine and complete with his resolution. But I close in reading 1 Corinthians 17,20. It does apply in everyone's life. It just is not easy to implement. I realize alot of this is of the flesh and so I pray GOD STOP AND DON"T LEAVE ,BUT GOD I DO WANT TO GROW IN YOU.

SANDY